Not my partner's keeper

This may sound odd but we rarely do the same actions as our partners. 

One of the most difficult ideas to convey in partner dancing is that each dancer must control their own bodies and body weight. I think that sounds intuitively obvious and correct. But to show you how little we honor that idea in practice try dancing a Waltz or Rumba box for thirty measures. I'll wait...

How many measures was it before you noticed your partner using their hands to balance on you or the other way around? Unless you are an extremely well trained dancer or extremely unaware it probably wasn't more than eight measures. In fact, doing the same action over and over as in a box (even with turn) is extremely difficult. The body tires out quickly and loses its sensitivity to what it's doing within a very short time. So if you felt a rapid breakdown don't lose sleep over it. That merely means that you are merely mortal. Rather than try to maintain perfection in a repetitive way I think it’s better to continually be involved in actions that allow for individuality.

Let's say we take a Natural turn in Waltz.

I start with the premise that each dancer must have their own line of swing. Each dancer will commence with a forward movement and lower along with a leveling of sway and equalizing of rotation from the previous figure. While complementary, the amounts of each will be different. The actions of the dancers will also be different in that one is starting with a forwards step and the other backwards and the hold is offset. When I stop to list the number of actions that are different and the reasons, they pile up.

Because the joints in the leg work differently forward or backwards we have a few different things happening in the legs between 1 and 2. For the forward moving person their weight will pass in a straighter path over step one and beyond before the leg swing for 2. For the backward moving person the leg and foot will begin to turn along with the body on step 1, but then because the leg swings open to the final alignment on 2 the body doesn’t turn very much into 2 or 3. The rate of turn is different for each person but line of the swing is parallel.

I try not to overly worry that all the pressures and tone in the hold stay exactly the same. I concern myself more with the idea of having a similar musical and special concept of the figure with my partner. Making each part of the movement complementary to one another will be matter of fact if you have a similar concept of the action. Relax your brain and chill, you’ll definitely feel the other person moving.